29.07.2011

SHE WAS THE LAST PERSON TO TALK TO HER?! why had I never thought this before? my little sister rachel was the last person to see my mum. We had a huge heart to heart last night and we started speaking about mum and she told me how she crys herself to sleep because she doesn't like showing her feelings in public. I asked her what she said to mum and she answered with "Mum said 'bye' and I said 'see you later, love you' and hugged and kissed her and mum replied with 'love you too'" it went silence for a minute, all I could hear were people out on the street and she said "I was the last person to see her, the last person to talk to her.." and all my feelings of feeling sorry for myself lifted of my shoulder and onto hers, all my pittyness went to her, She was like my mums shadow.. she was the one who was the mummys girl, staying home with her while me and my dad went to football games on a saturday. Always sucking up to her but then she confessed to me the only way she can get asleep is if she cries herself to sleep, no other way at all. My sister has turned into the person who inspires me, I wish I could be as strong as her. She thinks it's her fault. She thinks that those words "love you" made her do it. A twelve year old does not deserve that, the shit she has been through already is enough but she believes she should be punished, that she should suffer, not anyone else her.