You know when you look in the mirror in the morning? When you have a really good look at yourself. When you maybe try fix your hair or whatever. That is when I look deep into my eyes and I don't even know who I am looking at, that is when I have flashbacks of looking at myself in the mirror when I was younger, looking at someone I was not fully impressed with, someone that always wanted to be someone else. Now, it is just worse... I mean, I don't even want to be someone else anymore, I just don't want to be anyone. I just want to be happy. I mean not the happy like I seem to be, the happy when you are actually content with your life. I always think I am happy until I get into to bed and I feel I have no one to talk to so I think. I think about what would happen if I wasn't here. Think about who would even care. Think about the people who would pretend to be my friends after it, the people who would realize that they really hated me for no reason or the people who would say "I am glad she is gone". I don't even feel bad about thinking like this anymore. I don't even feel bad that I have thought about what to write on my note, if I even leave one. I just can't do this anymore. Everyone complains cause they think I am so depressed, well.. that is because I am. They don't realize how much it hurts me when someone says it cause deep down, they are right. I am nothing but that. I am nothing but dark. I have nothing good about me at all. It is weird to think that deep down this is what I am thinking, doesn't seem that way, does it?