Can we please just go back to when we were normal. Like I don't mean cliché shite, I mean us like when you put me before everyone and you made me feel like the only person in the world, you were my anti-depressants, you were the tablets I need to take every morning to assure that I'm going to have an 'okay' day and that I do not have a mental breakdown in public because apparently mental health problems are not socially acceptable. Now that's all fucking gone and we've turned to shit, all cause of one fucking time, I don't even know what to say. You can make me the happiest person on earth, genuinely, you can make me feel like no one else on this fucking shitty planet matters but then you can just turn around and make me feel like utter dog shit. You don't even know you have the power to do that. It can be the way you tell me that you love me, it can be the way you leave me to go out, I don't even know, I just want to know that you love me like I love you and it's fucking eating me alive that you can easily find someone ten times better than me. It hurts me to think that you are just a boy -sexism right here- and you can just forget about me and go off and 'shag' someone else and not feel a fucking thing, absolutely nothing. It fucking scares me that the way you make me feel, in general not sexually, you can make someone else feel, it physically hurts me, I can feel it as if I've been fucking shot. Not even just in the arm or in the leg, right in my heart, the place that I designate for you. This is so disgustingly cringey but it is how i feel and I just fucking wish, I wish to my bones that I was able to say this to you. I tried to but you just kind of brushed me off with an 'I love you too' and I know I'm being selfish and I know so many girls would be even grateful with the attention but I'm fucked up, you know that, I have told you everything you need to know about me. I know it's not been against my own will, I know that, I was drunk when I told you but still I told you. I have told you in greater deph than I have ever told anyone else and it pains me to even say this but I love you, like I said you are my anti-depressant, you just don't know that and I don't think you realise the responsibility you have on me and I don't think I want you to have that responsibility. I don't want anyone to have that responsibility on me other than my prescription I am prescribed with.